The Battle is in the Mind
The other morning I woke up at 2:36 a.m.. Being in jet lag recovery mode I was wide awake so I got up and read Psalm 23:6. “ Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” The Holy Spirit was showing me how His goodness and mercy had followed me through this recent trip to India and South Korea. One of my internal struggles during this trip was questioning my value. There is a cost of finances, time and personal sacrifice that goes into a trip such as this and I had to press through on a number of occasions regarding God’s calling and direction to send me.
There is a pride or “false humility” mind struggle that I was dealing with that says, “Oh, I must be an important person because God has called me to go to these places.” And than there is a big part of me that says, “I don’t want to go, I want to stay home and live in the quiet, restful place of my own home and culture. “
I know in my spirit, these are fleshly and demonic thoughts. Designed to bring doubt and confusion. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. The truth of the matter is that there is great joy and pleasure in listening to the Holy Spirit and following His lead, walking through the open door and finding victory in the process. Someone asked me a few years ago, “why do you come to
India?” My response; “Because my brother asked . . . and I sensed, in the ask, an open door God was wanting me to walk through.” There are many practical reasons for my going. I help on the clown ministry team, encourage the pastors and leaders in India, provide support and protection for team members, help share the speaking demands and share in the prayer ministry.
The ministries and churches we meet with are all mostly living on the edge. In the natural you could see how they may fail at any moment. The spiritual warfare is intense, the provision is minimal, their sizes are small, their hearts are pure and humble and their faith is strong but they also realize the reality of their situation. Persecution is real, government intrusion and interference is likely. But, they press on – day by day – loving one another – serving the Lord and advancing His kingdom.
I love how the believers I meet in India are so ready to lose their lives so that they can find their lives in Christ Jesus. Matthew 10:39 “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” My selfish thoughts questioning my worth and purpose in India is an exercise in trying to cling to my own life. It is a dead end street. I battled the same thoughts in the second leg of the trip in South Korea, but what a great victory to expose these lies and gain a greater revelation of Jesus in the process. Look to the next blog for part two in South Korea.
